Gently Led

I had three kids in three years.

I was married in 2001.

I had a baby born in 2002. Then 2003. Then 2004.

I refer to that time as the "black hole in my life."

And it wasn't because I hated it or it was horrid or awful.

It's because I had three tiny little humans completely dependent on mainly me for survival.

When Abby came along in 2004, she was my worst sleeper. She would cry all day and be up all night. Looking back, I don't even remember when she slept. She can still survive on barely any sleep.

I was in a fog of nursing a fussy baby, caring for two toddlers, sleep deprived and physically and emotionally exhausted.

This was in the early 2000's, and there were no support groups outside of my church. Internet was just becoming a thing, but I didn't have a smart phone until years later.

No Facebook, no social media, no groups, etc.

And I was of the mindset that I just had to muddle through without complaining or a support system.

So I did.

But looking back, I now know that wasn't healthy.

I wish I had had an older mom to put her arm around me and tell me, "It's ok. This time of your life is hard. It's not magical, it's not easy..it's grueling and it's hard but you're going to get through it. And next year, your kids will be a little more independent. And you will miss the snuggles and the cuddles and the cuteness. It's ok not to have it all together..it's ok to let the house go. It's ok to be overwhelmed."

But as a wife to someone in the ministry, I felt I *had to have it all together.

So I didn't talk about it to others. I just got through it.

Can I just say, as an older mom to you younger moms-

It's ok to be overwhelmed?

It's ok to admit that sometimes, life is chaotic and messy and downright miserable.

When you are up with puking kids- it's miserable.

When you haven't slept in days- it's miserable.

When you are pulled from every angle and feel like you are losing your mind- it's miserable.

Yes, there is beauty in the chaos, and sparkles and fairy dust and overwhelming love and thankfulness and gratitude that God trusted you with these wonderful children, but that doesn't take away the exhaustion. Or the chaos. Or the sheer magnitude of the task you have undertaken when you decided to raise children.

It's ok to admit that.

It doesn't make you a bad mom or a bad person.

It makes you normal.

Five years from now, it won't be so chaotic. It won't be so messy.

Little by little, it will get a little easier.

You'll sleep again.

You'll get to drink hot coffee again.

You'll get to sit more than five minutes or seconds at a time.

You won't always be the source of your baby's food. You won't always be the only comfort your kids seek.

And when that happens, you'll be able to take a deep breath, and have some calm in your life.

But until then, it's ok to admit it's hard.

And it is. It's the hardest thing you will ever do.

There is no shame in just admitting reality.

As moms, let's support each other in the hard reality of motherhood.

No shame, just a hug and a sympathetic smile to let you know that I have been where you are.

It's hard, it's messy, it's chaotic, and sometimes it's miserable- but you can do this.

It's all worth it when you come out on the other side.

Until then, let's just be honest, shall we?

Yes, motherhood is magical and has its peak moments - but it will also stretch you physically, emotionally, and mentally.

There is nothing as stressful or as magical as being a mom.

And let's not be afraid to talk about the hard parts.