Firsts Become Lasts Before You Even Realize It

Last night I carried Hannah to bed.

As I cradled her in my arms, and gently laid her in her bed, kissing her forehead, I started thinking.

How many times had I carried sleeping kids to their beds?

Probably hundreds.

It's something I do often, and any parent knows that there is just something so precious, innocent, and sweet when it comes to sleeping babies and kids.

How many times had I laid my kids in bed and watched them sleeping as my heart swelled with love?

At night, when stars light the sky and everything is quiet, there is a stillness and tranquility that covers the entire home.

My heart swells with gratitude and love as I peek into each bedroom and check on those who I love the most.

I got a little sad when I thought back to carrying my boys to bed as babies and toddlers. I can't remember the first time I carried them to bed, and I can't remember the last, but somewhere along the way, they didn't have to be tucked in anymore.

I can't remember the last boo-boo I kissed, but somewhere along the way, my adult kids didn't need their ouchies kissed anymore.

I can't remember the last time I brushed hair off of a sleeping brow and leaned down to softly kiss their cheek, but I don't think my adult kids would like it if I tried that now. Somewhere along the way, they outgrew that.

I can't remember the last time I had to help my older ones with a bath, or did their hair, or painted my little girls' nails, but somewhere along the way, they started doing it themselves.

There's a shift that happens as your kids grow up, and it's bittersweet.

On one hand, they are becoming what you want them to be- self reliant, strong, and functioning adults.

On the other hand, sometimes you wish you were carrying them to bed and kissing their brow again.

 When that happens is different with each kid, but one thing remains- it happens without you noticing, and when you do notice, your heart gets just a little sad.

I am so thankful I have such a big family. Because while I am waiting on my first granddaughter, and seeing another son get married in a few weeks, I am still carrying toddlers to bed and kissing boo-boos and fixing hair.

Some day, I will carry Hannah to bed for the last time, but by then, hopefully I will have little grandkids to tuck into bed at sleepovers at Nana's house.

I will stand there watching them sleep while I thank God for my blessings.

Love your kids well.

Soak in the moments, because firsts become lasts and it happens when you don't even realize it.