As Christians, we are continually told to trust in the Lord. We are told to trust throughout the Bible, and we have heard it over and over in sermons. We read about trust, we learn about trust, and we hear about trust- all the time. Yet when it comes down to it, it's so hard to really stop worrying, rest in the Lord, and just "trust" that he is holding us in the palm of his hand.
As chaos has enveloped the entire world in the last couple of weeks, a song keeps coming to mind, and I find the words running through my head as I go about my daily tasks. The song is called, "Trusting Jesus".
The words are as follows-
1
Simply trusting every day;
Trusting through a stormy way;
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by,
Trusting Him, whate’er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
2
Brightly doth His Spirit shine
Into this poor heart of mine;
While He leads I cannot fall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
3
Singing if my way be clear,
Praying if the path be drear;
If in danger, for Him call,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
4
Trusting Him while life shall last,
Trusting Him till earth is past,
Till His gracious advent call,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
It seems so simple, but is it? I have been thinking all week about trust, and the Lord kept bringing instances in my life where I struggle with this seemingly simple concept.
1. Trusting Jesus when it comes to having children
Having a large family is not for the faint of heart. Not only is it a lot of hard, nitty gritty work, but it takes its toll in every aspect of your life. From the moment you get those two lines, you sacrifice your body in every way imaginable. You deprive yourself of things that could harm a growing baby, even if it seems tempting- things like caffeine, over the counter medicines, or even herbs that might be harmful. You deal with nausea, fatigue, emotional ups and downs, stretch marks, and an ever changing figure.
For those of us who have had multiple miscarriages, a whole new reality comes into play the moment we see those two lines. Worry. Panic. Being excited, yet wondering if we should even get our hopes up about the pregnancy. Wanting to tell family and friends, but worried that if and when we tell them, we will have to tell them of loss in a couple of weeks. Laying awake at night, praying that we feel sick, so it will put our minds to rest. Holding our breath until we have the first ultrasound where we can see the little flicker of a heartbeat. Holding our hands on our stomach and praying every chance we get. Trying not to panic or worry, yet having a hard time not doing so.
It's hard not to second guess yourself when people think you are nuts. When haters call your large family "disgusting", and when even friends and family think you are crazy when you announce yet another pregnancy. Seeing the sneers from strangers when you go places, and feeling the stares as your family goes grocery shopping or on outings.
So why do we, as Christians, want large families, and the Lord to bless us with children? Trust. We trust the Lord when he says, "Children are a reward."
We trust him when he says he will supply our needs. For me, I believe that means every need- whether that need is physical, spiritual, financial, or emotional! Having children shows you so many things. It shows you how deep the Father's love for the Son is.
It shows your weaknesses. I used to be the world's best Christian. Then I had kids. I then had to develop patience even when I had been up all night with a colicky baby or a sick child. I had to work on showing grace to others when I felt extreme exhaustion and just didn't feel the greatest.
Even though having children takes trust, it also, I believe, brings the biggest blessings in life. I can't imagine my life without any of my kids. Even though pregnancy and childbirth is filled with uncertainty, pain, and fears of the unknown, it's an area that I am trusting my Savior in. It would actually be easier to just throw my hands up after another miscarriage and say- "That's it! I am done! I can't handle this anymore!" But then I look at my kids, and I realize that if I did that, I wouldn't have Chloe. Or Kelly. Both rainbow babies, and Kelly was my rainbow baby after two miscarriages. So, I trust Jesus, and I rest in the peace that he brings.
2. Trusting Jesus when it comes to finances
It's difficult to make it on one income. In a world where you almost need two incomes to survive, you are doing it on one. Not only are you doing it on one, you are doing while having a large family! The world says it's impossible. The Bible says that God will provide all of our needs.
My husband and I have pretty much been broke since the day that we got married. We had a baby nine months to the day that we got married, so we have almost always had other mouths to feed and take care of. Even though we have been broke since we got married, we have never wanted for anything, and we have always been able to pay our bills. God has provided. Sometimes that would come in the form of food, sometimes clothing, sometimes a reduced bill, sometimes someone giving us a gift. Whatever it was, God always provided. The world says we are crazy. We say we are just simply trusting.
3. Trusting Jesus when it comes to raising our children
The world says to raise children one way, yet the Bible says quite another. Who are we to trust? Jesus. His way is the best way. It takes faith and trust to decide to homeschool. It is not an easy thing to do, yet if we really want to be the ones to train our own children, it's the best route for them. It takes trust to buck the medical system and not allow doctors to inject our children with chemicals and harmful substances. It takes trust to Biblically discipline our kids. It takes trust to instill principles, character, and Biblical principles into our children's hearts and minds from a young age. But if we trust the Lord and follow his Word, the outcome will be worth it.
4. Trusting Jesus when the world is in chaos
If these last two weeks have shown us anything as Christians, it has shown us that life as we know it can change in an instant. Almost literally in an instant. I am in shock and awe that something can escalate so quickly. While we all have our own opinions about everything that is happening, one thing is certain. Life has become very different in the last couple of weeks. Fear, anxiety, worry, and panic are prevalent in everyone's minds. You can't listen to the news or go on your phone without seeing crazy headlines. Every where you go, it's different. Overnight, businesses and restaurants are closed. Lines mark out spots to stand in stores. Limits are on every grocery item, making buying for a large family difficult. You can see worry line everyone's face that is out and about. Strange forces seem to be at work, and it seems like all hell has broke loose. What do you do when life is full of pandemonium and chaos? You trust Jesus. He has told us many times that this would happen.
We know things are going to get worse before they get better. While others are panicking and stressing out, we can be different. We can trust in the Lord. We can have peace. We don't have to get caught up in the fear and chaos. We can just simply trust.
When it feels like our heart will pound out of our chest, and we feel like we should be doing "something" but we don't know "what", then we can just simply trust. We don't have to panic. We don't have to fear. We don't have to hide. We don't have to worry. We just have to trust. Come what may, we need to trust. For me, this is the hardest when it comes to my kids. I don't care if I get sick, but it's hard not to panic when I think of my kids. If my mind starts going there, I have to pause, scold myself, and think of the words to the song above.
Singing if my way be clear,
Praying if the path be drear;
If in danger, for Him call,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Right now the path is drear. It's not certain. It might be dangerous, and filled with peril. But one thing is certain. Jesus is right there with us, and we can trust in him. While the world falls apart in fear, I refuse to give in to the temptation. I know what the Bible says, and I rest in the sweet peace of Jesus's promises. He has said he will never leave me nor forsake me, and so I bask in the calm and comfort that those words bring me.
Simply trusting every day;
Trusting through a stormy way;
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Simply trusting. That is all.
