The Rise and Fall of Ruby Franke

I watched the Ruby Franke documentary this week.

I have been thinking about it all week- how it mirrors so many "real life stories" of prominent families who seem to be the "perfect families" and have everything together.

Here are my thoughts.

Families weren't meant to be put on display. In the IFB, this can actually be a huge problem. It's a well known fact that kids can "disqualify" their dad from the pastorate. The verses are there for a reason- if a pastor is cruel to his kids, provokes them to anger, and his house is out of control, how is he able to be a shepherd to other Christians? How is he in any position to tell others how to raise godly kids, when his kids walk away from every truth he has been preaching about? Because of this, pastors often put much pressure on their families. They expect their wives to appear "perfect." They expect perfection from their kids. In order to achieve this, they go overboard on the discipline. They expect little robots who obey their every command and make them "look good" to their congregants. In doing this, they completely overlook the "whys" of rules, boundaries, etc. They forget the heart of everything. They break their kids down, and in the end, the kids have zero love for their parents and walk away from everything.

I believe this happened with Ruby the more fame she got. She was known for giving "child rearing advice", so she had a part to play. The more famous she got, the more it went to her head. The more perfect of an image she had to portray. The more perfect her kids had to be.

No longer could they just go on vacation. They had to film every moment- even if it was humiliating or degrading to her young teen/adults. Anything for views. Anything for clicks.

I think she started out with good intentions. She loved her little family and wanted to show "God's love" to others. Their first video is actually kind of sweet, you can see the joy in her smile. But she lost her way.

I think Jodi was a horrible influence. Things shifted in a bad way when she entered the picture. Their relationship was skewed and it was easy to see how Jodi manipulated her and her husband. Jodi has the personality of many cult leaders- charismatic, a good speaker, convincing, powerful. Ruby didn't have as strong of a personality and soon fell under Jodi's power and influence.

I think Ruby's husband was weak. No way my husband would walk away and not fight for his kids, his family, his marriage. Her husband let Jodi push him around and he did whatever her heart desired.

All that being said, she chose her path. She chose to brainwash her kids. And the brainwashing was real. It took her son years to finally accept that Ruby was bad to do what she did. In his mind, his mom and Jodi were two of God's servants, helping others. Ruby chose to tie her kids up. Ruby chose to withhold food and do extreme punishments. Ruby chose to do those things and that lies on her alone.

Despite CPS visits and concerns, Ruby got "away" with abuse for quite some time. Anyone can be careful when they know they are being investigated. Anyone can train their kids what to say, how to say it, and they can put on a good show. Thank goodness for the boy who escaped and got help- but the oldest daughter had been raising concerns for a long time.

By all appearances, Ruby had the "perfect home." She had cute, well dressed kids. They smiled. They laughed, especially when she trained them to do exactly what she wanted for the camera. She made it look like she was the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect "Christian."

And she was anything but. She was an abusive, controlling, manipulative wretch.

At the end of the day, the older kids just verified what the younger kids were going through. The older kids stated what the home was *really like. The older kids had testimonies and told the truth of the horrors when the camera was off.

You want to know what someone's home is really like?

Ask the adult kids. Do they offer testimonies of their mom and dad's love for them, or testimonies contrary to that? Do they talk of the good times, or do they tell horror story after horror story? You want to know the truth? Ask the adult kids.

I don't think any family should be put on display, and I wish Youtube would ban parents from exploiting their children. Although I have a platform where I give Biblical advice, I am not going to put my children on display, and I am not going to pretend to have it all together or know all the answers.

No family is perfect. We all have our faults, and we all have weaknesses. Beware of the influencer who acts like everything is perfect. I can guarantee that when the camera is off, and the fake "Youtube voice" goes off, it's far from perfect.

Love God, love your husband, and love your kids, and chances are, you will raise balanced kids who love God and love you, as well.

Somewhere along the way, Ruby chose status, wealth, and fame over loving her kids.

And now she is in prison, where all abusers belong.